


we gon' party like it's yo' birthday

by lumchables



Series: Pizza and Cock [4]
Category: Anteros (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Birthday, Comfort, Concerned Laura, Crying Joshua, Cuddles, Jamie Foxx - Freeform, M/M, Mentions of Jackson Couzens/Jake Chubb, Nipple Licking, Truth or Dare, garlic bread
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-29 15:21:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11443626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lumchables/pseuds/lumchables
Summary: Joshua finds out something he didn't want to.





	we gon' party like it's yo' birthday

**Author's Note:**

> yes the title is 50 cent lyrics no i'm not ashamed  
> also the thing that happened you won't have any context for cause this was never meant to be shared but there will be context in the near future. i'm gonna write it

"Ooo, this is a good one," Phoebe told the group, reading out the question to Jackson. "How many people have you slept with this year?"  
Joshua smiled, looking down at his shoes, knowing the answer to this question already.  
"2."  
The smile disappeared from his face, as he kept his head down. His heartbeat speeding up as confusion swept over him.  
"Is that right?" Joshua asked with a slight shakiness in his voice. He slowly lifted his head, staring straight ahead to Jackson, who was avoiding eye contact and looking to Laura, hoping she'd help alleviate the tension building in the room.  
"I- I...yeah. It was...I was drunk..." Now staring at the floor, Jackson stuttered through his answer, trailing off at the end, feeling highly uncomfortable as he could tell Joshua still had his gaze locked on him. Oblivious to the situation happening directly in front of her, Phoebe picked up the next card, reading it aloud to the next Truth or Dare victim, Zach. He spun the wheel on Joshua's birthday cake deciding whose nipple he would have to lick as the card read. Everyone watched on, giggling wildly when the needle landed on Jackson. Jackson chugged the rest of his beer before getting up and meeting the other in the middle of the room. The blonde reluctantly lifted his shirt up to expose his chest to the entire audience. The younger of the two tensed up, his breaths growing deeper as he felt Zach's tongue circle his nipple before slowly running his tongue over it. Joshua rolled his eyes at the excessive display and excused himself to the kitchen. He was already on the verge of tears, he really didn't need this now. Jackson went ahead with spinning the wheel, not wanting to alert anyone that something was wrong. He watched as Laura followed Joshua into the kitchen in an effort to make sure he would be okay for a little while, until everyone went to bed, when it would be safe for him and Jackson to have a proper discussion about this. Jackson glanced over to the pair every few seconds, watching Laura trying to console Joshua as he began getting visibly shaken, trying to hold back tears, but failing. Feeling himself about to breakdown, Joshua pushed past Laura, shutting himself in his room. With his back to the door, he sunk down to the floor, pulling his knees up to his chest and burying his face against them with a hand held over his mouth to muffle any sounds of him sobbing, not wanting anyone to hear and worry about him.  
Laura came back to the room, handing a beer to Jackson, knowing he could use another one given what just happened.  
"Just give him some time to think about things. It'll be okay, Jacks." Laura whispered to the boy before returning to her original seat on the couch next to Alex.  
"Is everything alright?" Phoebe asked from across the room.  
"Yeah. He had a bit too much to drink. Needed to lay down." Laura replied in an attempt to cover for Joshua.  
After everyone had gone to bed, about a half hour after Joshua disappeared to his room, Jackson approached his door, lightly knocking on it. Joshua quickly wiped away any tears remaining from his eyes and took a deep breath trying to calm his breathing before opening the door. As he was doing so he heard a quiet voice on the other side. He stopped with his hand on the door handle, realizing it was Jackson at the door. He hurried to the mirror on his wall, frantically fixing his hair and straightening his clothes, making himself look presentable and not like he was just crying moments ago.  
"What is it, Jackson?" the older man asked as he peeked through the cracked open door seeing his bandmate standing in the darkened hallway, the boys normally alluring blue eyes being overshadowed with guilt.  
"I just wanted to see if you were okay. Everyone's gone to bed, so it's just us."  
"I'm fine. I was just about to go to bed, also."  
"Joshua, I know you're not fine. I saw you in the kitchen. We need to talk about this. I can't have you being mad at me. It hurts too much."  
"Look, Jackson," Joshua ushered the blonde into his room, shutting the door behind him, "I have no valid reason to be upset with you. We're not in an actual relationship. You're not mine to control. If you wanna go out and sleep with someone new every night, I can't stop you," Joshua, now seated on his bed,staring down at his hands in his lap, "I think that's what hurt me the most. It's the realization that you can do exactly that and I would just have to sit back and be fine with it... and I'm not sure that I can do that."  
"I would never do something like that to you, Joshua, something that would intentionally hurt you. And what happened that night...I never meant to. It just escalated way too fast for me to think things through."  
"Jackson, Laura told me you two were at a gay bar. You had to have known this was gonna happen. We all know how you get when you're drunk. If you didn't mean for that to happen, then why go there in the beginning?"  
"I know this might not make sense, but I..." Jackson paused, searching for what to say next, as he lowered his eyes towards his feet, "I had to do it, Joshua. I just felt like I needed to do it to figure out a few things."  
"Of course you did." Jackson could tell from the tone of Joshua's voice that he wasn't buying that excuse at all. Both sat in silence, unsure of what to say to the other next.  
"I love you, Joshua." Jackson blurted out, his voice shaking from nerves. Joshua remained silent, as Jackson watched the older man begin to tear up again at hearing these words. Neither of them spoke for what felt like the longest minute of their lives.  
"Sorry," Joshua paused, wiping a tear off his cheek, "Um, I'm sorry, I'm just trying to process what you just said. How long have you felt that way, Jackson?"  
"Since January. I swear I was going to tell you, but I panicked. I was scared that you wouldn't want me if you found out. I was in denial and told myself I would be able to sleep with someone else and feel nothing. And then i'd know it wasn't love. And that's where I was horribly confused. I really fucked up everything, didn't I?" Joshua remained silent through all of this, avoiding eye contact with Jackson. He feared he would start crying again at any minute and didn't want Jackson seeing that happening to him. He knew it would just break the younger boy if he had to see Joshua cry again because of him.  
"Anyway, I'll let you get some sleep. I'll, uh, see you in the morning, I guess." Joshua watched as Jackson got up off the bed, leaving the room.  
Jackson sat on the couch, mindlessly flicking the spinner as he had been doing for the last fifteen minutes, replaying what Joshua had said in his mind. He had hoped Joshua would've responded to his confession, but instead all he got was silence. And it was killing him inside. With all the thoughts jumbling up in his mind and combined with the alcohol in his system, Jackson began to feel completely overwhelmed. Seconds later he felt the warm tears rolling down his cheeks, followed by the saltiness of them reaching his lips.  
"Jackson?"  
The boy looked up, towards the doorway to see Joshua standing there, watching as he frantically wiped at his face with his arm. Joshua walked over to the blonde, stepping over beer bottles strewn across the carpet. Seating himself directly beside the other, Joshua remained silent. The pair simply stared into each other's eyes; Joshua's brilliant blue eyes now red and tired looking; Jackson's cheeks shining from the wetness of smearing his tears across his face. Joshua was done waiting. He needed the boys lips on his. He placed his hand under Jacksons chin, watching Jackson's lips approach his as he pulled the boys face to his own. A hint of saltiness reached his tongue, tasting the dried tears from Jackson's lips. Joshua pulled away, cupping Jackson's face in his hands, taking a moment to himself to lock this moment into his mind.  
"I love you, Jacks."  
Before Jackson could respond, Joshua pulled the boy in for another kiss, feeling Jacksons lips form into a smile as they pressed their lips harder into each other's. Joshua pushed Jackson onto his back, laying himself on top of him, placing his lips to the blondes neck, lightly kissing his way back up to his lips. Joshua pulled back, laying his head in the crook of Jacksons neck, feeling a sudden wave of exhaustion sweep over him. Jackson pressed kisses to the older man's temple and in less than five minutes they had both fallen asleep, not caring that they had broken rule #1.


End file.
